If I am to Die
by CassetteTapes
Summary: Kabby pairing, I thought during 'Resurrection' Abby and Kane should've confessed their feelings for one another thinking they were about to die. Rated K Disclaimer: I do not own The 100 or make any profit off this


**Kabby pairing, I thought during** **'** **Resurrection'** **Abby and Kane should** **'** **ve** **confessed their feelings for one another thinking they were about to die.**

 **Rated K+**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The 100 or make any profit off this**

She heard a distant noise beneath the ground, perhaps it was just falling rock. No…there it was again, and again. Someone was down there! Rushing to the entrance of the cave-in she barely avoided being shot in the heart. Panting and scared…though she'd never admit it, she slipped into the crevice of rocks. Crawling through the darkness as gunshots echoed above she lost her footing, rolling through the fallen rocks and smashing to the floor.

Her fall knocked the breath out of her and gave her a nasty scrape on the knees but nothing more. Gathering herself up she heard the noise bounce off the rocks as she made her way towards the source. Still unsure who it was she called out, "Hello?" No response, "Hello! Is there anyone here?!"

She was only met with silence so she continued to walk, scrambling through the debris as the sound became louder. Suddenly she spotted a body, someone lying on their back but it was too dark to spot their face. She crawled through the small space to reach them and when she did she had a double take. It was Marcus. Gasping out loud and inhaling a lot of dust while doing so she clambered over to him. He was hitting a metal rod against a beam, creating the noise she had heard. She gently removed his hand from the beam, placing it on his chest lightly before attempting to wake him.

She tried to make him aware of her presence but he didn't seem to hear her, "Marcus!" She coughed, shaking him. "Marcus can you hear me?!"

She was only met with a painful groan and her panic increased ten fold. There was a beam on his leg, preventing him from getting up and he was deathly pale. Taking out her flashlight she shone it on his leg, trying to get a better view of what she was up against. Once she had gotten a better look she resumed her attempts to awaken him. She knew that if he fell asleep he might as well never wake up again. "Marcus…" She took his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly, "Marcus please wake up."

This time he opened his eyes, peering up at her with a look of unveiled shock, "Abby?" His voice was raspy.

Tear sprung to the corners of her eyes, tears of relief as she nodded, clutching his hand tighter then before, "Yes, yes, it's Abby it's going to be okay, I'm going to get you out of here."

"It's my leg." He told her quietly.

"I know." She nodded, already examining it again, "I don't know if I can lift it."

He didn't respond as she kept working, trying not only to sort out the problem but her emotions as well. What Clarke had done shook her to her very core. She couldn't believe it. She had known and she had left them all to die, her friends, her warriors, her people. If it had not been for the mere luck of Clarke spotting her she would be as good as dead. She couldn't understand it, _why?_ Why would her daughter do it? For goodness sake if she had alerted the camp then everyone or at least _mostly_ everyone would be okay.

"Go find her." Her head snapped up to look at him. "Go find Clarke, I can tell you're worried."

"Worried wouldn't be the way to put it." She grumbled, going back to work.

"Abby." He took her hand, stopping her once more, "I'm fine, go find your daughter."

"I'm not leaving you!" She said firmly before squeezing his hand tightly then releasing it and going back to work. Before he could bring up Clarke again she cut him off, "I'm going to try and lift the beam off your leg."

He nodded and she commenced, trying to lift the heavy metal off his leg. She lifted it, but only slightly as it weighed tons. Peaking at his leg she gasped, "Marcus don't move!" She commanded, "The beam is the only thing keeping you alive." She set the beam back on his leg causing him to yelp in pain.

"Now what?"

"Well now I have to get help." She turned to leave when there was a rumble up ahead. A few small pebbles littered down upon them causing her to crouch down beside Kane, her head accidently coming into contact with his chest. She was about to sit up again when a larger…louder crash shook the cave and huge boulders fell upon them. They both screamed as they unsuccessfully tried to shield one another from the stones. Something hard and heavy hit her on the head and she fell backwards, landing a few feet away from Kane.

He had seen the rock, heading straight for her and he had tried to pull her out of the way but it was too late. It'd happened it slow motion for him, the stone it her in the head, panic rose to her eyes before they closed and her body was flung backwards colliding with the floor. He had screamed for her to wake up but she hadn't, she had laid there as still as the stones that surrounded them.

He had watched her but barely saw her. Everything was out of focus. His mind drifted having no clear thoughts. The only coherent thing that crossed his mind was she. The woman who lay limp just a few feet out of reach. He could recall the way she smiled though he hadn't seen her do it in ages. She had a way of ducking her head down when she smiled as if it was some private joke no one else would understand. Her eyes would light up and she would shake her head at herself. What he would do to see her smile again, to see her open her eyes.

At that moment his focus flew to her…she was waking up. Her eyes fluttered, but then closed again her head shifting to the side. "Abby!" He yelled, trying to get her attention.

She merely mumbled to herself before shifting again only to be trapped by the rocks that held her in. Her eyes kept trying to open but she just couldn't muster the energy to do so. "Abby wake up! You have to wake up!"

"So tired…" She murmured, her lips hardly even moving as she spoke.

"Abigail Griffin open your eyes!"

Now she opened her eyes, peering at him uncertainly. It took her a few moments to come back to the real world and realize what'd happened. A series of emotions passed over her face, confusion, panic, grief, pain, and then determination. "Marcus…" She tried to free herself from the heavy rocks that crushed her but no avail.

"Abby…are you okay?"

"Yeah, only a headache."

"You scared me." He said without thinking.

"Likewise."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You came down here to help me and now you can't find Clarke."

She stared at him a long while before shaking her head, "Clarke doesn't need to be found."

"What?"

"She's fine."

"How do you…?"

"She escaped…" She murmured.

"Escaped? What do you mean she escaped?"

"Marcus…she _knew."_ Tears sprung to her eyes.

"About the missile?"

She nodded, the flashlight still casting eerie shadows over her saddened face, "She let it happen." She murmured. "She left us here to die."

"Abby…" He reached a hand towards her, which she only just managed to grasp from where she sat.

"Why would she do something like this?" Her voice was strained.

"Abby…"

"I was me wasn't it? She learned to do these horrible things from me."

"Hey, no…it wasn't you. Clarke is a young woman she made this decision…not you."

"I'm her Mother." She cried.

"I know…" He rubbed her hand.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head, "I'm being selfish."

"No, you're not. It's okay to be upset."

"I just…" She hiccupped, "I just thought that she was better then this."

He didn't know what to say to this and just sighed sadly, "Abby?"

"Yes?"

"Did she…" No…he shouldn't ask, she was already in tears…but he had to know, "Did she leave you hear to die?" He rushed.

She shook her head, "She saw me at the last moment." She murmured, as if she was ashamed for living.

They remained in silence for a long while. Both just staring at one another in the dim glow of the flashlight. She felt responsible for this, as Clarke was leading her away from the village she knew something was amiss and should have acted on that instinct. She should have gone back to save her people, her friends…Marcus. He was here because of her, he was likely to die because of her. No. She couldn't think like that, they were going to make it out, people would find them. What if they didn't? They will.

He on the other hand was loosing too much blood and his thoughts were fractured and confused. However every time he glanced at her things seemed that much better and yet that much worse. How could he be so happy about sharing his impending doom this the only person he cared about? It was wrong to feel some comfort in her presence but he felt it anyway. At the moment she was chewing on her bottom lip, drawing blood and licking it away only to repeat the process. He knew she was scared…he was too.

He felt tired, tired and cold. He closed his eyes but instantly missed the sight of her. Opening them again he saw that she was breathing deeply…too deeply. The oxygen in the cave was running low and he could see her eyes glazing slightly. He opened his mouth to try and jolt her awake but no sound would come out. Everything was dim and blurry and finally he closed his eyes again, his breaths becoming shallow as well.

She was still lightheaded but from where she sat slumped against the slab of stone she could se him slipping away. She murmured something inaudible before coughing once or twice and calling out, "Marcus!" It was a choked cry.

He didn't open his eyes. She panicked, "Marcus!" Nothing. She began to struggle, relentlessly kicking and grappling at the rocks that confined her until one shifted. It painfully smashed her finger but she didn't mind. Pushing and shoving she managed to free herself and crawl over to her Councilman. "Marcus please." She put a hand on his chest.

"Abby…" He murmured. "Abby, you're free."

"The door, it's blocked I can't…" Her answer stumbled, "I can't get out. I won't leave you."

"Abby…" He smiled affectionately up at her, a shaking hand coming to rest on her cheek. Automatically she lifted one of her own hands to keep his in place.

"Marcus?" It was strangled in her throat as their eyes burned into one another like lasers.

"Abby, I know that this is silly and selfish of me to say but I have to tell you." He started, "If we never get out of this cave I have to tell you…"

"We will get out."

"If we don't. You have to know, that we couldn't be this close to peace as we are now without you. We couldn't have survived at Camp Jaha without you. You have led our people well Abby. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to hurt you. For the backlashing…" A tear rolled down his face, "For trying to float you. I'm so sorry. You're so smart, and determined, and kind, and really a true leader and I admire that about you. You think this is your fault." He shook his head, "It's not. We all did the best we could and you didn't know the missile was coming there was nothing you could do. You came down here to save me even though I don't deserve saving but Abby if we're going to die I have to tell you. I love you." He felt her breath hitch, "I love you Abby."

Tears were running freely down her face now. As he spoke she realized she felt the same way. She had for some time but under the stress of being both a doctor and Chancellor she hadn't had the time to recognize them. As he confessed his feelings for her she found her heart screaming for him as if it'd been long denied those words, "I love you too Marcus." A choked sob burst free from her lips as she cradled her head against his chest, "Please don't leave me…I can't do this without you."

"I will stay with you for as long as I possibly can."

 **A/N okay so that was my first attempt at writing 'the 100' fanfic so please tell me what you think.**


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